More Packaging Disasters

Dear Miss Clairol,
Just wanted to let you know I used your "La Petite Frost" kit.  Well I used the cap and hook, but instead of blond highlights (heaven knows I'm "blond"  enough)  I used brown dye from a different kit and did dark highlights.  Anyway, I think you should add two details to your instructions.  A warning that putting on a plastic bonnet and pulling half your hair through tiny holes with a metal crochet hook will make you look like an alien from outer space.  It's recommended that your pets NOT see you looking like this, as they might be traumatized and possibly attack you or run and hide.  Other people (especially those with cameras) should not see you and you ABSOLUTELY should not answer the door looking like this!  The other warning should be that pulling long (especially curly) hair through those tiny holes can be quite painful and lead to significant hair loss!  I was planning to go to the hairdresser and get my long, thick hair thinned for the summer.  Now, I don't need to.  You could market this product as La Petite Frost and Mega Thinning. 

Dear Clorox,
I was excited to see your new product, "Gel Bleach for hE washing machines".  Finally an easier way to get bleach in that tiny dispenser.  As your label says, "New!  No splash, No mess"  I tried to twist open the cap on the fancy nozzle with no luck.  Went and found my reading glass so I could decipher which block of teeny, tiny print was both directions and English and it said, "To open cap:  squeeze sides of cap where indicated.  (ahh those lines weren't just for grip) and turn counter-clockwise 1/4 turn.  Cap DOES NOT come off).  I squeezed, I turned, squeezed the bottle to dispense gel bleach.  Nothing.  Ok.  Maybe there is a seal under the cap (you know like the ketchup bottles have), but that can't be the problem because the cap DOES NOT come off.  Ok.  Squeeze again, turn 1/4, squeeze.  Nothing.  So, I squeezed the bottle harder and gel bleach exploded like lava running out under the collar, not out the nice little nozzle.  I now have bleach all over the bottle, my hands, and the top of my washer.  Thank you!  That was so much easier and less messy!